Category: Wellness

The Thread of Letting Go: From Heartbreak to Healing

Written By Sam Martin

Healing is a process—an imperfect, ever-evolving journey.

It’s not about wiping the slate clean or pretending the past didn’t happen. Instead, it’s about understanding it, carrying it differently, and discovering who you are on the other side. For me, this journey has been deeply intertwined with music. Certain songs have become markers of my emotional milestones, tracing the path from heartbreak to healing, from love to self-discovery. These songs have changed in meaning over time, reflecting both who I was and who I’m becoming.

Here’s the story of my journey, told through five songs that have defined it.

Closer – Tegan and Sara (2012)

Written by identical twins Tegan and Sara Quin, “Closer” was released in 2012 as the lead single from their album Heartthrob. The song is an upbeat, synth-pop anthem about intimacy, connection, and the thrill of falling in love. It captures that euphoric, electric feeling of wanting someone completely—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

How it resonated then: When I first connected with this song, I was falling head over heels, caught up in the magic of a this new relationship. The lyrics, “All you think of lately is getting underneath me,” perfectly mirrored the passion and intensity we both felt in those first days. It was about surrendering to love and believing in all its possibilities.

How it resonates now: Today, “Closer” is a snapshot of innocence and hope. It reminds me of the beauty in allowing myself to fall, even knowing the risks. It’s a bittersweet memory but one I’ve learned to treasure for the joy it brought in its time.

““It’s not just all physical / I’m the type who won’t get oh so critical.””

— Tegan & Sara

Set Fire to the Rain – Adele (2011)

“Set Fire to the Rain,” written by Adele and Fraser T. Smith, was released in 2011 as part of her iconic album 21. The song is a powerful ballad about the devastation of heartbreak and the moment you realize a love you held onto so tightly is slipping through your fingers. Its imagery of fire and water colliding reflects the intensity of emotions in a tumultuous relationship.

How it resonated then: At the height of heartbreak, this song was my anthem. The lyrics, “I let it fall, my heart, and as it fell, you rose to claim it,” hit hard. It captured the duality of love—how it can lift you to great heights and also leave you shattered when it ends.

How it resonates now: Listening to it today, I feel more reflective than raw. The pain is still there, but it’s distant, a memory rather than a present wound. “Set Fire to the Rain” reminds me of the strength it took to let go and the beauty in surviving something so consuming.

“I let it fall, my heart, and as it fell, you rose to claim it,”

— Adele

Lost on You – LP (2016)

Laura Pergolizzi, known professionally as LP, released “Lost on You” in 2016. The song is a haunting reflection on a relationship that didn’t survive. With its raw lyrics and soulful delivery, it’s a toast to the dreams, hopes, and pieces of yourself that get lost along the way.

How it resonated then: In the aftermath of heartbreak, “Lost on You” became my grieving song. The lyrics, “Let’s raise a glass or two to all the things I’ve lost on you,” perfectly encapsulated how it felt to mourn not just the person but the version of myself I had been with them. It was a way to honor what was gone while beginning to release it.

How it resonates now: Today, “Lost on You” feels like a closing chapter. It’s a reminder of what I’ve let go of—not just the relationship but the weight of that loss. It’s become a song of freedom, marking the moment I stopped looking back.

“Let’s raise a glass or two to all the things I’ve lost on you,”

— LP

Yellow – Coldplay (2000)

Released in 2000 as part of their debut album Parachutes, Coldplay’s “Yellow” is a gentle, heartfelt ode to love and admiration. Written by the band’s lead vocalist Chris Martin, the song’s lyrics speak to a profound and selfless kind of love, paired with a celestial, dreamlike quality.

How it resonated then: For much of my life, “Yellow” felt like it was about someone else—a person I’d poured my light into, thinking they were my whole world. The line, “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you,” felt like an offering, a declaration of how deeply I cared.

How it resonates now: Rediscovering “Yellow” after my heartbreak was transformative. I began to see it not as a song about someone else but as one about me. Those stars have always been shining for me. It’s become a song of self-love and recognition, a reminder that my own light is enough.

“Look at the stars, look how they shine for you”

— Coldplay

Happy – N.E.R.D. (2008)

From the 2008 album Seeing Sounds, N.E.R.D.’s “Happy” is a vibrant, energetic track that embodies pure joy and empowerment. The lyrics, “I feel so alive, I’m in overdrive, I’m killin’ it,” are unapologetic in their celebration of life and confidence.

How it resonated then: When I first heard this song, it felt like a dream—a distant hope that one day I’d feel that alive and empowered again. It was aspirational, a promise I made to myself during the darker days.

How it resonates now: Today, “Happy” is my reality. It’s not that life is perfect, but I’ve found joy again, and it’s bold and unapologetic. I’m in a place where I can genuinely say, “I’m killin’ it,” and mean it. It’s not just about surviving anymore—it’s about thriving.

“I feel so alive, I’m in overdrive, I’m killin’ it,”

— N.E.R.D

Looking Back, Moving Forward

Each of these songs tells a part of my story, from falling in love to losing it all, to finding my way back to myself. They’ve evolved in meaning, just as I have. What once reflected my pain now highlights my growth. Heartbreak no longer defines me; it’s just a piece of my journey. The healing continues, imperfect and ongoing, but I’m no longer stuck.

Music has a way of meeting us where we are and showing us where we’ve been. These songs are a map of my evolution, a reminder of how far I’ve come, and an anthem for the road ahead.

NERD MUSIC Healing Heartache heartbreak Tegan and Sara Pharrell Williams Happy Digital Nomad Wellness

December 6, 2024
Boost Your Metabolism Naturally!
Written By Sam Martin

All Natural Ways to Speed the Weightloss Journey!

Are you struggling to figure out what foods can help you naturally speed up your metabolism?

Whether you are new to leaner, healthier living, or an old torch bearer of the lifestyle, we can all use some new life hacks that will help us achieve or maintain our wellness goals. When I was younger, I had a very speedy, I could eat anything and stay skinny metabolism. When I reached my early to mid 20’s this greatly slowed down, but I continued to eat as if I had the speedy athletes metabolism.

Big mistake! Throughout your life as your body changes with age, you are no longer capable of maintaining the same bad habits as you have in the past. It takes the body much longer to recover. Personally, this is a huge lesson I am learning daily as my now over 50 body starts to feel the pains of age. So to counteract the weight gain from a slowing metabolism, I invested some time and researched some of the things we can do that will allow us to naturally keep the speed of our metabolism up.

First and foremost, understanding what your metabolism is and why it is so important was key. Think of it as simplistically as this. Fuel in and energy expended. The metabolism is the rate at which the food is expended and of course different foods and food groups will have different ways of effecting how the engine performs. Simply put not all calories are created equal.

The food you eat is converted into energy. Some of this is clean energy, while others is pure crap!. We all know those foods well, right? However, do we know some of the foods that are clean and help speed up the processes of converting calories to energy? Below are some of the essential foods to help this process.
- Watermelon
- Green Tea
- Avocado
- Egg Whites
- Black Beans
Want to learn more about foods that boost your metabolism?
Download our Paper “10 Ways to Boost Your Metabolism”

Other Factors That Help

As mentioned above there are many ways the body is effected by the foods we eat. This is specifically true when it comes to your metabolism. So it stands to reason that there are many things you can do or not do that will directly effect the rate of your metabolism.

Obviously watching the foods you eat and focusing on some of the foods that work to speed up your metabolism is the first way to give yourself a little metabolic boost. Another is to ensure to eat a healthy breakfast every day. There is a reason it is the most important meal of the day. (This is especially true if you are actively using intermittent fasting to manage your weight as well)

Healthy breakfast toasts with avocado, peanut butter, banana, chocolate granola, cream cheese, figs, blackberry, persimmon, pomegranate, chia seeds.

Why is breakfast or the first meal you eat so important. Look at it this way. If you are leaving at least an 8 hour window after your last food prior to your first food the next day, your body is hungry, it is in need of fuel. What you put in your body can set the tone for your entire energy levels that day. Starting the day with the right fuel starts the day out with more energy.

Want more tips Check out these 5 boosting tips from Active. View Tips.
Want a recipe that boosts your metabolism? Try our black bean recipe!

10 Ways to Boost Your MetabolismReceive a Free Whitepaper loaded with information to hep you implement a lower metabolism way of eating.

metabolic rate metabolism weightloss Diet nutrition healthy foods
April 10, 2024
Say No to Keto!

Written By Sam Martin

Why I am Choosing to say NO to a Keto Diet.

Say No To Keto!

The Keto diet has quickly become the South Beach or Atkins diet of the past, only on steroids. All too often I am hearing friends and acquaintances tell me how I should switch to a Keto diet for weight loss. It’s simple, I am working towards living a healthier lifestyle, not one that can potentially put my body into more distress.

The essence of the ketogenic diet is to exclude all carbohydrates forcing the body to get energy from a different macronutrient, fat! This means if you choose this way of eating, you are choosing to omit whole grains, legumes and fruits from your diet as these are all carbs. Once the body begins to extract energy from the fats being consumed, it will create ketones as a means of metabolizing the fat.

The Keto Food Pyramid.Obviously not vegan and especially not plant based. The image shows lean cuts of meat, however most people eat high cholesterol.

The South Beach and Atkins diets taught us that simple carbs can be disastrous for weight loss. So it makes sense that it could be a great way to kick start a weight loss program, or sustain weight loss over a long period of time. I mean, who else struggling with losing the unwanted pounds does not want an easy out? Well, I do not! Not if it comes at the detriment to my health.

There are plenty of people out there who will try to convince you the keto diet is the only way to lose and maintain proper weight. Meanwhile they are suffering what can only be described as the “keto flu”, a mixed bag of feeling unwell, nausea and fatigue. This is because there i=are whole groups of foods your body is being denied, foods that provide essential nutrients.

Studies Show Low Carb Diets Are Killing You Slowly

It’s Ok to Eat CarbsContrary to what you are told there are healthy carbs. Eat them, not in abundance, but enjoy the low glycemic carbs!

A recent study in published in The Lancet, demonstrated that those eating a prolonged low carb diet, relying on fatty based cuts of meats from various animals suffered a higher mortality rate. Of course many studies have already indicated that diets with more animal products are the leading causes of cancer, heart disease and diabetes, with the keto diet specifically, you are eating in a means that increases the levels of bad cholesterol and lowers the amount of good. This puts anyone on the diet at a great risk of developing heart disease.

Vegetables, legumes fruits and whole grains have already been proven time and again to be the healthiest foods for the body. When you remove these foods from your plate, of course you would expect your life expectancy to decrease. My opinion is that these foods are deemed the healthiest for a reason. Why would I remove them from my diet? Especially when I sat across the table from a guy eating 2 sirloin patties, a side of bacon 3 sausage and 2 eggs. This guy was attempting to lecture me on how to eat. Simply because I was larger and he was leaner, he felt he was healthier. Carbs are not your enemy.

Sure, you can say you have seen keto work for weight loss. That does not mean there are not other reasons to avoid this diet. Use the google and look up the literature on the documented side effects of a prolonged keto diet. Patients suffered from side effects such as kidney stones, cardiac arrhythmias, pancreatitis, high cholesterol and more. Is this what you are looking for when trying to live a healthier life. NO

Let food be thy medicine. Th earth is replete with food that can help us heal. This includes managing diabetes, heart disease and cancer. It does not include killing ourselves slowly to look good in the mirror!

August 10, 2023
Vegan Apple Spice Muffins
recipes wellness

Written By Sam Martin

The Perfect Fall Recipe for a Healthy Snack

Fall Harvest – Apple Spice Muffins

Let me start by saying this, when a loved one asks for a healthy fall recipe, you try your best to find and create the perfect recipe! One that will satiate the desire to eat it. Thank you Rainbow Plant life for having the perfect starter to what would be a delicious treat for a Labour Day recipe treat! It is always fun to have a new recipe.

Making the Mix!

The recipe turned out really well. Of course, I needed to make some changes. I always need to add my own spin. I changed some of her ingredients and instead of making donuts we made muffins with donut holes. (We do not own a donut tin and only had muffin silicones.) The food changes made were substituting part of the all purpose flour with oat and coconut flour. (I do this in my banana bread and it is fantastic) plus no cane sugar, instead substitute with equal amount of coconut sugar. This is a lower glycemic less intense sweetener. Of course, this is all relative to taste.

Changing out the sugar and the flour increases the nutrients and health benefits without losing any of the flavours. In fact the substitutions do not increase the calories while providing additional nutrients our body use. When making these substitutions for yourself, be sure you are using the organic versions. For the oat flour, we make ours at home by grinding whole oats. We drop them in our Ninja Blender and a little blitz we have oat flour. Don’t worry I will list all the ingredients and their nutritional values down below.

Donuts and Nut MilkCreativity abounds with fun food decorating

BATTER INGREDIENTS
- 1 cup coconut milk (you can substitute other plant based milks as well)
- 1/2 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
- 1/3 cup unsweetened applesauce
- 1/3 cup organic coconut sugar (or us maple syrup)
- 1/3 cup coconut oil, melted
- 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
- 2 cups
  – 1 cup all-purpose flour
  – 1/2 cup oat flour
  – 1/2 cup coconut flour
- 1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt
- 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
APPLE SPICE MIX
- 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
- 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
- 1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
- 1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
- 1/4 teaspoon ground cardamom
Combine the spices in a bowl and mix them all up.

CARDAMOM MAPLE ICING
- 1 1/2 cups organic powdered sugar
- 3 tablespoons pure maple syrup
- 3-4 tablespoons plant based milk
- 1-2 pinches of ground cardamom
- 1 pinch of ground cloves
Pour the powdered sugar into a shallow bowl. Add the maple syrup and milk, a tablespoon at a time, whisking until smooth and not too thin. Add more spices if desired

Directions
1. Preheat the oven to 400°F
2. Pour the milk into a measuring cup and add the apple cider vinegar. Give it a whisk to combine. Let sit until the mixture is slightly curdled.
3. Combine in a large bowl the flour, salt, baking powder, and Apple Spice Mix.
4. In another medium bowl, combine the milk-vinegar mixture, applesauce, sugar, melted coconut oil and vanilla extract. Stir them up until batter is smooth.
5. Add the wet ingredients into the dry and mix until just combined, be sure not to over mix.
6. Spoon the mixture into your donut or muffin tins filling at about 3/4 full. We used foil to make the holes.
7. Bake for 10 minutes in the preheated oven until a toothpick comes out clean. Let cool on a wire rack.
8. Dip each donut into the Cardamom Maple Icing, and if desired, sprinkle on chopped nuts and toasted coconut. Allow the donuts to rest for 15 minutes for the icing to set.
recipe muffins donuts vegan nutritious homemade healthy apple spice
February 28, 2023
Lose Weight Be Fit – Part 2

Fitness Nutrition

Written By Sam Martin

If I thought I had been unkind to myself and my body in the past, well the last 18 months of COVID are the worst. My body has been through its second highest ever weight and at 53 years old is struggling to keep up. On fact there are days I feel the unhealthy habits, the lazing around in a desk chair or bed are going to put me there permanently.

How bad is it you ask? Well, at the highest I was 325lbs. As recently as 5 years ago I was 247lbs. Today I am about 300lbs. (currently do not have a scale until end of September) This is actually down from 315lbs in March when I lost 17lbs poking my nose under 300lbs and going back up to 310lbs in July. All of this has shot my blood pressure way up, my stomach does not react well to many foods and I barely move. Boo Whooo, right!

NO! I need to kick myself in the ass and remind myself just how strong my body is and how well it recovers when I treat it with kindness. In May and June I lost almost 20lbs. It was not difficult, the opposite in fact. So why did I fall off the wagon again? Simple really! Wanting what I want in that moment, not thinking about the ramifications. Take out food and television is a slippery slope for me. It provides a sense of comfort, though I am not sure why. Therapy is supposed to help root out what it is that I am doing when I make these choices. Protection? Fear? Something…

YES! It Is Time For A Change

Change, it seems is never easy, specifically change to the diet while implementing a good exercise program. Changing from that of a junk food addict to healthy fresh ingredients that bring forth the things a body wants to thrive and live in health. In my condition, the weight, activity level right now, there is no chance of being the authentic me. Maybe that is the negative dialogue that also needs to change. However, there is also the realists voice. My body is strong, but it is time I stop abusing it so we can heal together.

Back in late April I started 2 minutes of walking every hour and by May that ramped up to 3 minutes. After a few weeks the time increased to 5 minutes and every so often I would add knee strengthening interval work or some body weight exercises. Soon the step count was up to about 7.5k. That did not last. Now I am at about 1.2k daily if that some days.

CHANGE #1 – Start moving 3 minutes every hour 6x a day. (5 minutes by September 30th)

Movement will be focused on improving the mobility in my knees. There are a few knee strengthening exercises that help keep basic mobility day to day. The goal is to be able to walk a couple of kilometres a day without feeling like an old grump through the night. This is in addition to regular daily activity.

CHANGE #2 – Drink more smoothies and eat more vegetables. 60% of daily food intake Aug 23 – Sep 30th 2021

YES! Adopting this will help me immensely. Well, Tara will help with that as well. At this point there is little trust that the best decisions are being made while I am alone. Nothing worse for inner dialogue than broken promises to yourself, repeatedly!

So, hello change, nice to meet you. So looking forward to the wonderful things you will bring.

Accountability

I own the mistakes I have made in the past and feel ready to give a little control to others. My partner, Tara. Anyone reading this who wants to offer constructive suggestions and most importantly, to myself. The truth is to live a life true to myself, these changes need to be made. Accountable to myself first and foremost.

Somedays it is difficult to look at myself in the mirror and not feel remorse for my weakness. Being more in the moment, more aware of myself and how I am feeling, understanding the triggers that send me to eat the junk.

Welcome to Sam’s journey! Choose to follow me, to praise me, to chastise me, I am prepared for it all. I am prepared to come out of lockdown changed

weightloss diet lose weight fitness weightloss journey

July 5, 2021
Vegan Banana Bread

Written By Sam Martin

A Deliciously Sweet Treat When You Get Those Cravings

Every so often enjoying a great tasting loaf of banana bread as a sweet treat is absolutely delightful. Especially when itis this decadent but nutrient rich recipe. This is so tasty that it has officially become a fan (the two of us here in the house) favourite. Careful, we struggle not to eat it all in one sitting.

You can make this banana bread in one large bowl, or split it into 2 of liquid and dry. Either works. We use thawed frozen bananas, from the smoothie stash, mashed up with palm sugar, vanilla and melted coconut oil. Sometimes I will add a touch of maple syrup for the sweetener as well.

There are different things we do to make the recipe different. Nothing like a little variety in your banana bread. The first one we made was simple, some walnuts. Plan and simple. The next one we tried dried cherries in addition to the walnuts. The last time we made it, we added chocolate chips. This was our favourite version.

We like it warm out of the oven.
Find the Recipe Below

Vegan Banana Bread Recipe

Pre-heat the oven to 375 degrees
This entire recipe is made in 2 bowls

Bread Base – Dry Mix
3 cups flour mix (1.5c all purpose / .5c coconut / .5c oats
1.5 tablespoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon ground flax seed
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
pinch of ground gloves

Wet Mix
4 frozen mashed bananas
1/4 cup coconut sugar
1/4 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup melted coconut oil
1 teaspoon vanilla

Vegan Banana Bread RecipeBoasting lots of nutrients, this homemade low glycemic banana bread is a great way to make something delicious at home.

Make the Banana Bread

It is time to put all your ingredients into the bowl. Mix them together with a spatula until you have a thick sticky pancake like consistency. You would be able to use the spatula to move the mixture from the bowl to the loaf baking pan.

Before you place the mixture into the bread pan, be sure to create a non stick coating over the surface of the pan. Grease the pan with some coconut oil and flour the surface after that. Instant non stick surface.

This is where you can add in walnuts, chocolate, whatever really suits your fancy! We are considering pineapple and coconut cashew. It really depends on what you like.

Bake in the oven at 350 degrees for 45-55 minutes

Want more recipes

We are creating new recipes all the time. We will be posting the best ones once we have a final product we are proud of. Our recipes are always delicious and nutritious, taking caloric intake as well as macro and micro nutrients into account.

Delicious moist vegan banana bread fresh from the oven!

We really love trying recipes from The Minimalist Baker and Fresh Baked Harvest as well.

September 17, 2020
Defeated By Poor Eating Habits

Nutrition Mindfulness

Written By Sam Martin

Trying to live a healthier lifestyle can be very difficult

Are you struggling just as I am to overcome your bad eating habits? Does the idea of watching what you eat really leave you feeling defeated? Boy do I hear you.

Since putting it out there that I am attempting to live a healthier lifestyle I feel like I have done the complete opposite. Struggling to make the right choices these last weeks have demonstrated to me that I am highly addicted to the unhealthy choices I continue to make. I know the key to overcoming the health issues that I am facing is to adapt to and live a much healthier lifestyle.

Since the first 2 weeks of deciding to record videos documenting the ways I have learned to eat healthier. Applying the knowledge of a short course over 5 years ago in nutrition, a vast read knowledge of how to choose macro eating over calorie reductions and starvation techniques, as well as the support many online resources I still end up resorting to the old unhealthy ways of eating. I find myself stuffing my face with things like pastries, cookies, chips and popcorn. The trips to A&W for the Beyond Meat burger and the cheating on no meat to eat charcuterie boards and parma on baguettes in Madeira, Portugal.

Charcuterie Board – Madeira, Portugal

I am a stress eater. Food is my go to comfort for all things in life except heartache. I refuse to be in a perpetual state of heartbreak just to lose weight and be healthy. Anytime I get stressed or feel good about life, which apparently is quite often because look where I am, I end up right back up close to 300lbs. Th trouble is this time I am also in the worst shape of my life. With past and present health issues most certainly caused by my die and health, you might think after several roller coaster rides around this weight loss thing I would get it by now. Except I don’t. If I did I would not be here, not writing this, hoping to somehow let it sink in.

Instead, yet again I feel the early sounds of defeat drumming in my head. I feel so close again to just accepting the defeat and accepting whatever outcomes accompany my change back to the past. The trouble is… I don’t want to. I want a healthy active stress free leaner life! So let’s turn it around. Every day can be a new beginning and a step forward. Even if you experience two steps backwards at times, there are moments to move forward.

When we returned back from Madeira, Portugal I noted that I had actually lost weight while traveling. Despite eating from a couple of junk food meccas and indulging in the meat products I was actually down 7lbs from my weigh in before leaving. After seeing this I took stock of what and how I ate during that time to see what the cause could have been to effect the loss despite bad habits creeping in. First, I was not fasting. Food was consumed between 10 am and 8pm. No window there. It was however limited to 3 meals a day, no snacking in between, no additional food outside breakfast lunch and dinner. Additionally, the food portions are not as huge. In north American culture, it appears as though the more you are given, the more you will eat. Portions were nearly perfect every time we ate.

Every morning I would start my day with the hotel free breakfast choices. this was eggs on toast with a small mango arugula salad. (I always left the mango to the side.

Hotel BreakfastEggs on toast with Arugula and Mango

We were also walking more. Daily average steps increased substantially during the time we were there when we were out exploring. Walking around the Funchal streets and down to the marina daily provided enough exercise to burn off some of the calories. In fact average steps per day increased over the previous month according to my apple health step counter.

How to translate travel eating into home eating?

Not going to lie, since being back I have been eating non-stop. Certain to gain back the weight I lost while traveling, my goal this week is to find the things that helped and optimize them into new habits.

The biggest difference noticed was that there was no snacking. No food in between meals meant calories were reduced. Even if it looked like I went over from the types of foods that were ate, at the end of the day, strictly eating 3 meals in an 10 hour period proved more effective than almost constant eating.
Conclusion: Fasting does not work if you are constantly grazing. Limiting meals to 3 times a day can actually help. That will be my challenge this week. Trying not to graze.

March 6, 2020
Time to Lose Weight & Be Fit

Fitness Nutrition

Written By Sam Martin

Over the years I have not been kind to myself. My story is not unique, there are so many people out there who have and still struggle with their own health and weight. Living a rollercoaster ride of weight loss and gain. I was a childhood athlete who grew up to be an adult obesity statistic.

At my highest I was 325lbs. That was the first time being overweight scared me. Having developed high blood pressure and Acid Reflux, the Dr and Nutritionist were straight up, LOSE WEIGHT! This was 2010. During the last 10 years I have been down to 247 lbs and up to as high as 290 recently.

In August of 2007 a move to LA weight management become uneasy. Despite gaining back 10 lbs I was confident I could continue the good health path. FAILED Again. An emotional eater, in 2008 my father passed away, I was living unhappily with a woman who was also overweight and I ate away the pain. We visited in Toronto in October 2010 to attend my best friends wedding. When looking at the picture it became strikingly clear that the problem had returned, BIG TIME. This is when I weighed in at over 325lbs. It was absolutely horrifying.

Returning to LA, determined to find a trainer and lick my obesity problem. I met Billie in November 2011 and honestly she was the perfect fit. With Billie’s guidance I was again on my quest to lose weight and be fit. Soon I became a beast in the gym and worked my way down to 255 lbs This was end of summer 2012. During that period I never gained any weight back, despite the heartache of now losing my mother.

December 2012 I returned again to Toronto for the holidays. I threw discipline out the window and… When my TN1 Visa was denied and the woman I was in love with seemed ok with me staying in Toronto for a bit, I settled in, back in the T Dot, back, seemingly happy, but not caring about myself again. I replaced workouts with binge eating, finally realized the great loss I had experienced plus, as much as I loved my friends here, I missed LA and this amazing woman I had fallen in love with. I blew all that happiness on Chips, dips and candy.

Soon everything and everyone was to blame for my misery. When the relationship started to go south, when the cold was unbearable, everything was an excuse to be unhappy and soon I found myself slowly gaining it back. Pants that were loose when I returned were now skin tight. T-Shirts not long enough to cover my huge belly and an HR woman who was frankly rude in her delivery but correct in how unkempt I looked. I did not care. I was depressed and for 2 more years I would suffer silently each night or every weekend with this… my comfort foods. Pure sugars and toxins.

The pattern dragged on bringing me back up to 287 by September 2014. Pretending I still loved my job, pretending I was happy in my life when the truth was I was completely unhealthy and a sedentary pile of processed junk food. (They say you are what you eat) It is no wonder I had gained all that weight back.

All that unhappiness took me to therapy. Like finding a trainer I did my research met a few people and found the person I felt I could share and be vulnerable enough to help heal the broken Sam. In a couple of months I was confident enough in myself to leave behind the job I was extremely unhappy at and start my own business. By the spring of 2015, the only issue I had not conquered was my weight. Finally happy again it was time to begin the arduous task of motivating myself to take action.

The Change Occured

July 1st 2015 I set a 3 month goal to see how I could do on my own, the only motivation… MY LIFE! I had to commit myself to the work necessary to change old habits into new. Adopt a healthy active lifestyle and treat my body like the temple it is. The first step to being completely happy with myself was in my own ability to love myself enough to take care of myself. As an overweight person I was not living the life authentic to to who I truly felt I was from the inside out.

The first 3 months were fantastic, I was confident I had made the important lifestyle changes necessary to achieve my goals. The trick about health is it is so easy to be overweight. Without even realizing it we are eating food that our bodies were not designed to process. I know McDonalds tastes good, I know a sweet sugary dessert will delight me in ways my endorphins can’t handle, I also know each time I choose to put that stuff into my body I am slowly killing myself. And I want to live.

Not only do I want to live, I want to pay it forward. I want to share with as many people as I can the importance of clean healthy living. I am going to open up my world to public judgement and put my results out there. I want people to see it does not take a Keto, South Beach, Atkins anything diet that restricts your calories or provides fake processed foods from a cardboard box to lose weight. I am going to share a real lifestyle change and choices, foods that heal, that work with our bodies. I will demonstrate that eating can be a delight without killing you.

But I Fell Off the Wagon

I own the mistakes I have made in the past and feel ready to make better choices again. I will say this many times. I know the struggle, it is not easy. I will make mistake, plateau, wonder what is working and what is not. I have a starting point, knowing what has worked in the past. I have an end point, goals, an ideal weight and determination.

Welcome to Sam’s journey! Choose to follow me, to praise me, to chastise me, I am prepared for it all. I am prepared to come out of lockdown changed

weightloss diet lose weight fitness weightloss journey

February 2, 2020