{"id":490,"date":"2025-07-15T16:37:14","date_gmt":"2025-07-15T16:37:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.samimartin.com\/musings\/?p=490"},"modified":"2025-07-15T16:37:14","modified_gmt":"2025-07-15T16:37:14","slug":"hate-is-an-ugly-thing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.samimartin.com\/musings\/wellness\/hate-is-an-ugly-thing\/","title":{"rendered":"Hate is an Ugly Thing"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Someone Who\u2019s Had Enough of It<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I. The Ugliness of Hate<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Hate isn\u2019t just loud. It\u2019s corrosive. It latches on to the fearful, the insecure, the lazy-minded, and festers until it becomes part of their identity. It\u2019s not born out of righteousness. It\u2019s born out of weakness\u2014a desperate scramble for superiority in a world where their relevance feels threatened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve experienced hate as a gender queer member of the LGBTQ+ community. Not for anything I\u2019ve done, but for who I am. For existing outside of someone else\u2019s fragile definition of \u201cnormal.\u201d This is not a sob story. It\u2019s a statement of fact. Sadly, Im not the only one and it\u2019s far from the first or the last time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"hate<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

This time, the hate has a face. A name. A social media account. A man clinging to his bitterness like a shield, lobbing lies and slurs my way to make sense of his own failure as a human being. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But zoom out\u2014and you see this isn\u2019t about him. It\u2019s about the world we\u2019ve built that lets people like him thrive. Loud, hateful people are getting elected, applauded, and platformed. And while they rant about morals and freedom, they actively work to dismantle both while dehumanizing those they hate so much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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II. One Example in a Long Line<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The man I\u2019m referencing doesn\u2019t know me. He never has. We\u2019ve never shared a meal, never had a conversation, never exchanged anything real. Never met! And yet, I\u2019ve become a character in his personal fiction\u2014a villain that helps explain why his life isn\u2019t where he wants it to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He throws slurs at my identity, my appearance, my ethics\u2014none of which he understands. None of which are any of his business. What little he does know is filtered through the lens of resentment and ego. His narrative isn\u2019t truth; it\u2019s a weapon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This isn\u2019t the first time I\u2019ve been someone else\u2019s scapegoat. When you live openly, unapologetically\u2014gender queer, tattooed, liberal, independent\u2014you become a target. That\u2019s the truth. The more visible you are, the more vulnerable you are to people who hate what they don\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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III. Hate Isn\u2019t New\u2014But It\u2019s Louder Now<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s something different about today\u2019s hate, though. It\u2019s louder. Bolder. Less ashamed. Once whispered in private, it\u2019s now screamed on social media, into school boards, at Pride parades, and through legislation.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

We live in a time where truth is optional, but outrage is mandatory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People with no real education or experience in public policy are getting elected because they\u2019re \u201cangry like us.\u201d They don\u2019t campaign on solutions. They campaign on enemies. And people cheer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once \u201cWe the People\u201d meant collective responsibility. Now it\u2019s devolved into \u201cMe the Electee\u201d\u2014a new breed of politician that governs with revenge, not representation. They\u2019re not civil servants. They\u2019re petty kings, ruling over social media empires and local town halls with cruelty disguised as conviction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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IV. When Hate Is on the Ballot<\/strong>
<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

When people vote based on who they hate rather than who they hope for, democracy suffers. We see it in the banning of books, the rollback of rights, the silencing of teachers, journalists, doctors and the way the media clings to views\/sensationalism. We see it in states where healthcare is denied based on gender identity, where protesting is criminalized but bigotry is cheered<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We see it when grown adults obsess over children\u2019s chosen pronouns but ignore their access to food or safety. When political campaigns run on ignoring climate change, demonizing immigrants, queer kids, and public workers while handing tax cuts to corporations that underpay\/outsorce workers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hate isn\u2019t just ugly. It\u2019s policy now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"who<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

And the architects of that hate\u2014men like the one attacking me\u2014don\u2019t feel shame. They feel empowered. Because we\u2019ve stopped rewarding empathy and started electing resentment. The problem lies with the voter. They can chose or not chose hate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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V. The Cost of Being Different<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

To be different in this world is to be seen as a threat. Not because you are\u2014but because your existence forces others to confront their smallness<\/em>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you are queer, or Black, or trans, or immigrant, or poor, or follow a different spititual belief\u2014or any combination of the above\u2014your body becomes a battleground for someone else\u2019s insecurities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You get questioned, policed, misgendered, harassed, fired, in some instances, even killed\u2014not for doing something wrong, but for being \u201cother.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve lived it. I\u2019ve felt the subtle slights and the blatant insults. I\u2019ve been the target of online comments and whispered rumors. I\u2019ve had my work dismissed, my character attacked, my humanity debated. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And yet, I\u2019m still here. Still creating. Still loving. Still building something real. Because I and all others who are the targets of hate, we have the exact same rights as you. We are all equal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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VI. A Culture of Excuses<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The man harassing me isn\u2019t alone. He\u2019s just one of many. A symptom, not the disease.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve created a culture where people are more comfortable excusing their failures by blaming others than owning their choices. It\u2019s easier to say \u201cthe world\u2019s gone woke\u201d than it is to say \u201cI didn\u2019t do the work.\u201d It\u2019s easier to blame immigrants than to ask why healthcare is so expensive. Easier to scapegoat trans kids than to admit the education system is underfunded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The lie is easier than the truth when the truth requires effort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And so people fall into tribes. MAGA hats become armour. Conspiracy theories become gospel. And empathy? Empathy becomes weakness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But here\u2019s the thing\u2014\u201cwoke\u201d is not the insult they think it is. If being woke means being aware that injustice exists and caring enough to want it to change, why is that bad? Since when did paying attention to suffering become something to sneer at? Isn\u2019t the whole point of community\u2014of humanity\u2014to look out for each other?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The same people throwing \u201cwoke\u201d around as a slur often claim to be good Christians. Yet wasn\u2019t it Jesus who said, love thy neighbour<\/em>? Who taught compassion, humility, and kindness as cornerstones of faith? How does mocking the vulnerable, cutting social programs, or demonizing entire groups of people fit with treat others as you wish to be treated<\/em>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The hypocrisy is staggering. Helping others isn\u2019t weakness; it\u2019s strength. Empathy isn\u2019t some liberal agenda\u2014it\u2019s supposed to be a human instinct. But somewhere along the way, caring got rebranded as weakness, and cruelty got mistaken for honesty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that\u2019s the real sickness. Not just the hate, but the pride people take in wearing it like a badge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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VII. The Quiet Resistance<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Gratefully, for all the noise, the hate, the lies\u2014there are still people quietly building a better world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"resistance\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Teachers who risk their jobs to support LGBTQ+ kids. Nurses who care for every patient regardless of politics. Artists, creators, organizers, thinkers\u2014those who refuse to let cruelty define us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it\u2019s not just individuals working in quiet corners. There are entire movements and leaders dedicating their lives to pushing back against hate.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n